It Must Be Wonderful Indeed
by Lady Awesomepants
Summary: Gaz's disturbing narrative about how her hatred of the love between Dib and Zim turned to a dangerous obsession with Zim and how it left her alone. ZADR, GZ. Read and Review. I suck at summaries as you all know.


**IT MUST BE WONDERFUL INDEED**  
  
Based on the old old **OLD** song by Franz List. Yes, a songfic.  
  
**Summary: _Gaz's disturbing narrative about how her hatred of the love between Dib and Zim turned to a dangerous obsession with Zim and how it left her alone._**  
  
**A/N: In writing this, I tried to keep in mind how Gaz would think. How she would react to love, to hate, to loneliness, to sadness, and loss. I wanted to give her a reason as to why she is so dark and alone. I wanted to show that if she had opened up, she would have gotten hurt.  
**  
**Disclaimer: Right, I do not, under any circumstances, own Invader Zim or any of its characters. Unfortunately, Jhonen Vasquez is the genius behind that. I do not own the song "It Must Be Wonderful Indeed," which is also unfortunate. It was written by Franz List and is copywrited by some weird Italian company.  
  
_On with the show! And review!_**  
  
---  
  
_It must be wonderful indeed _

_Two loving souls revealing_  
  
When I was little, I thought they were fucked up. I thought they were sick and demented and I wanted the both of them to just shrivel up and die or go be freaks somewhere else.  
  
Damn the both of them to whatever hell they find worse.  
  
I wondered about their sanity--Dib's, especially. That idiot, he would wander around our hallway at night, yelling about how he was "fratenizing with the enemy." And I would tell him he was a fucking lunatic and sick and needed some real help.  
  
_Their thoughts as one in harmony _

_And ne're a word concealing_  
  
The more they were together, the more I was convinced that they were contagious. They started spending the night at our house and fucking in Dib's room and _moaning_ and _groaning _and making me want to rip my ears off so I couldn't hear them anymore.  
  
Sick, sick, sick. Both of them, sick.  
  
But if they were so sick, what was I? What the hell was I?  
  
_And joy and pain _

_Success and need_  
  
And then I started thinking, y'know? What if I was the sick one? What if those two faggots were living life how it was supposed to be lived?  
  
What if I were the insane one?  
  
And then, I started looking at Zim differently. I started to think, "Well, he can't be all that bad. Can't be all that sick. Right?" And I tricked myself into thinking that I could _feel_ and I could _love_ and people would _care_ that I did. I made myself think that I cared about him, that I_ loved_ him, that I was as sick as they were, and that it fucking mattered.  
  
_They so together blending _

_They so together blending_  
  
And I guess that Zim started thinking differently too, that maybe he wasn't a fairy, and sometimes, y'know, the way he looked at me when I ate or drank or played video games or breathed or did _anything _was just so unnerving. Like he wanted me and needed me as much as I wanted and needed him, y'know? Like he was saying, "Forget Dib, I want **you**."  
  
And the days he and Dib weren't fucking turned to be the days that he and I were fucking. Hot, passionate, wet, weird, and I thought it was love, I really did. I thought, "Wow, this is the person I want to spend my life with no matter what and I want to _marry _him so fuck my faggot brother."  
  
_From love's first kiss _

_Until the tomb  
_  
I wanted more and more and more. If he was with Dib, I cried or cut or drank or sniffed myself stupid so that when they came back I wouldn't have a fit. But the days Zim and I were together...those days were bliss. Those days were the days where I _wanted_ and _needed_ and _lusted_ for life. I wanted to live every second of it with Zim and move into an apartment in the city and kiss him every day and every night and every moment that he breathed...  
  
And I guess Dib started to notice things. Like when we ate dinner and Zim would only look at me, even when Dib was talking. How Dad, oblivious fuck that he was, would comment on the noises coming from my room.  
  
"Are you having nightmares, daughter?" he would ask, and Dib would give me the strangest look, like he suspected something, but couldn't quite piece it together. I didn't think he would. I didn't think he could. How could his Zim, his beloved, betray him like that?  
  
_To speak of love _

_Unending_  
  
But Zim, goddamnit, he was too nice and too considerate. He wouldn't make love to me anymore because he "couldn't take the look on Dib's face." **What look?** He just looked bewildered and confused and lost like he didn't have any idea what the fuck was going on. And so I saw less and less of my Zim and heard more and more of him _moaning_ and _groaning_ in the room nextdoor and Dib _screaming_ his name.  
  
And I wanted to _**kill**_ him.  
  
It should have been me screaming his name in ecstacy and not Dib, who was so needy and sick and horrible and disgusting. Not Dib. Goddammit, he took the only thing I loved away from me.  
  
_To speak of love _

_Unending_  
  
And I hate him. God I hate him so much.  
  
It...it must be wonderful...to be loved.  
  
It must be wonderful indeed.  
  
---  
  
**END  
**  
---  
  
**Feedback is wanted if not needed. Be a dear and hit that little review button and tell me whatcha think. Flame or rave, whichever you prefer.  
  
HOWEVER  
  
_Do not flame me on my grammar. The run-on sentences are MEANT to be there, as part of the unstrung thoughts of the narrative. _**


End file.
